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"Slip your best panties on, girly boys! I'm back from vacation. Call me and let's find out what you need!"
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Hmmmm
Writer is known only to Mistress Karen.
Dear sissies,
I asked one of my sissies (she who remain anonymous) to write an essay on the subject of what it means to be a sissy and how it affects her life. The essay that I received I is impressive and well thought out not to mention very nicely composed.
It is worth sharing with all of you in hopes that it will cause you to think about your own station as a sissy and how it affects you. I am sure that many of you will be able to relate to several points made in this essay and would like you to share your thoughts in the forums.
Let's get a discussion going, girls!
People are thought to be many things by many others. How we act, the effect we have on others, how we feel and make others feel, defines who we are -- to the world and to ourselves. I am a sissy because being a sissy enables me to have the most positive affect on myself and all others around me.
Everyday I live as a sissy, I learn humility through humiliation. From time to time, I have had to endure the stigma of a male who would be sissy. But for those who would point out that humiliation is somehow bad and socially abnormal, I would gleefully remind them of the ritualistic practice of college hazing, tar and feathering law breakers, marking offenders of social norms through scarlet lettering, public stockades, current day public listing of drunken behavior -- and the list goes on.
So some might feel I have endured much. But they are wrong and I happily look forward to many years of humiliation -- which makes me a better sissy. Moreover, I would point out that the emotions, fear and feelings experienced through humiliation can be quite powerful.
So much so in fact that the experience can be quite addictive and often missed over time. And for me, the potential sissy who denies these gifts is destined to live an unhappy life struggling against the very nature they were born with.
I have learned to give up control to another while learning to experience an eroticism that is truly amazing and wonderful. I have learned to associate pretty panties and nylons with deep feelings of being pretty and sexy.
I have learned that a single pair of pretty panties can be more controlling and luxurious than a male mind can comprehend. I have learned that submitting to women sexually is far more rewarding than cumming in 30 seconds and rolling over to go to sleep.
I have learned that the high of being kept wanting with desperate unfulfilled sexual need is WAY more delicious and desirable than all the orgasms I have experienced combined. A sissy wants and NEEDS to be kept tortured for another's amusement -- or at least that is how I feel.
The more sexually frustrated I feel, the more I want to offer myself to such extreme use.
And then the magic starts. Feeling sexually denied and tortured becomes a wonderful companion. An addictive friend I can't live without. The humiliation I feel from being denied only seems to make me more addicted and inflamed. And I seek out that control.
Being a sissy is like an orgasm that never ends. It is a life of always being kept on fire for the one who controls you and the women they represent. It is a life of teased senses and emotions -- neverending foreplay with purposeful intent.
I began my life as a sissy. I have been taught that this is true and I have embraced this. But I was a very angry, rude and unhappy person until I let go and learned to be a sissy. I had a very negative affect on myself and everyone around me for many years. I like being a sissy and cannot imagine why I would ever want to go backwards.
I enjoy submitting myself to women in general. But especially as a sissy. I like how I feel being useful to women. I like how I make women feel being useful to them. And I am not useful to them or myself trying to be some macho male version of myself that doesn't exist.
So am I woman in a male body?
No. I am a sissy in a sissy body. I like who I am. I don't particulary have any urge to remove my little clitty. I don't wish I had a vagina. I don't harbor resentment that I wasn't born female.
But I am not really a male either. A male doesn't care if their legs are smooth and silky because it feels soooo sensuous and looks so pretty. A male feels some inherent need to "take women" -- as if they were some prize to be won.
To me, A male is selfish and generally uncaring -- when compared to a woman or a sissy. A male wants to hunt and fish and compete against other males. Perhaps they have more testosterone levels.
Perhaps it's upbringing. I don't know. But the more I try to be what society considers a "normal" male, the less I like myself, who I am and how I affect others.
I am a sissy and not a male because I have learned just how wonderful life is under the control of women. I have learned that feeling helpless is not only ok, but downright erotic. I have learned to enjoy soft skin and silky clothing -- even and especially as it is diametrically opposed to tight bondage.
Anyone who has ever worn a deliciously tight corset and especially high heels can attest to the myriad of feelings and eroticism that can wash over a sissy at any given helpless moment!
Why would I want to ever be anything else? Why would I ever want to give up feeling so deliciously helpless and pretty? Why would I ever want to be anything less than helpful and subservient to women who appreciate a sissy heart, mind and soul? I feel appreciated, and owned and eroticly helpless and divine humiliation.
I have met a few women in my life whom I have had relationships with.
And they showed me my own natural tendencies. My exwife actually fostered them. She exposed me to the world of panties and bondage.
And she taught me how to enjoy such things in spite of the fact that she prefers macho men.
This is not something that I can simply undo. Moreover, I wouldn't want to. Then over the years, I crossed the line between play and addiction. I cannot imagine a life without panties and bondage.
I am a sissy because I need to BE A SISSY.
I yearn to be kept helpless and out of control. I am a sissy because being a sissy exposes me to a level of submission and helplessness I have never found elsewhere.
At first, I disliked suffering. If asked, I would have passed on being teased relentlessly. But over time, I have begun to yearn for the struggle. Having to deal with exposure, humiliation, helplessness, tease and denial, heart wrenching ache and a deepening need is a drug that I am addicted to.
I feel alive and set free through my struggle -- especially when escape is impossible. Quite frankly, I could be addicted to alcohol, narcotics, tobacco, etc. But I am not.
I am addicted to piercing sensuality, humiliation, fear, helplessness, bondage, submission and a myriad of fetishes I cannot begin to finish listing. And there seems to be an endless supply of control to be given up through life as a sissy.
I relish the idea that Mistress controls these things in and about me and that I have less and less control over them as time goes by.
I drink it in and savor everything about it -- especially when I suffer in it. I can imagine a hundred different addictions that are harmful and downright dangerous. But being a sissy who must focus and concentrate through so many emotions, sensations and control is the most wonderful life I can imagine!
I am happiest when I am sissy. And I serve others and have a positive affect on them and my work because of it.
In short, I am a sissy because I was born with a mixed cocktail of desires and traits which define my personality and emotional character. These attributes in me have been fostered or "parented" by a select few women in my life who see from the outside who I have the potential to be. I am not a woman and have no desire to be a woman. I am not a man and do not desire to be a man.
I am a creature in between -- a being with attributes of both and a penchant for docility with a pinch of masochistic needs. I wish to suffer and struggle. And to do so for one who controls me and the strings which bind me is all the more fulfilling.
I relish the idea of being held captive and forced to endure a sissy existence -- to struggle and obey. I am a sissy because all things aside, I have no other choice for happiness and freedom. And my life only seems to flourish with purpose and meaning as I fall further and further into its existence.
The harshest thing I can ever imagine is living a life where being a sissy is not only prohibited but entirely prevented.
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Mistress Karen manages men.
Mistress_KarenLeigh@hotmail.com
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